That
That. What's that over there? Is it about to explode? Nah, probably....not. But the strange curiosity of the mind makes you wanna check it out so you go over to it and pick it up. You wonder what it is. Turns out that's not even the frig what we're talking about. It's your wallet, dummy. Over there, laying on the dining room floor, bend down under the table some, and reach down and get the object that's under there. There are some words on it but you can't read what they say. In fact, you have no idea what it says, because the words are probably written in like size 2 font if you put it on a computer, so you have to go get your extra thick glasses out of their droor. Walking over there But then, you remember, you left your glasses at your friend's house who lives a few miles down the street, and so you decide to just forget about it. But as you watch television (your prefer shows such as Spongebob, Dora! the Explorer, just Nick Jr. stuff mostly), your mind starts racing and thinking as you wonder what that strange object that you left on the dining room table was, so you get up and slowly walk over to it, looking around, making sure it's not a test or something and it's going to blow up or whatever. You take small steps. You're almost half way there. You feel like your body is going to just drop because you were really tired from losing a dart game last night and you have to have a weeks worth of rest in order to be okay, so you were originally going to go to bed, but you thought against it, realising that this strange looking object was here. As you think and slowly walk towards it, you begin to wonder how it got there. How it just ended up right there, under your table in your dining room. You wonder if it's even alive, because it didn't look like it was alive. In fact, it felt very cold and like metal. You also noticed that it was very heavy and you could hardly pick it up, mainly because you hadn't worked out for years and so all your friends always laugh at you for having scrawny muscles. You are almost there when suddenly, you trip and fall, hitting your head on the dining room table, which knocks you out, and you wonder why you did that, why you tripped and fell and hit the table so hard with your head and why it knocked you out. You wonder if it had anything to do with that weird object over there, the one that acts like it was looking at you, tormenting you, begging you to come over there and touch it, but not sexually of course, because that would make you a pervert, according to people who aren't sure what the word pervert means. Waking up So you wake up over a pool of blood, about an hour later. Well, an hour and a half. Feeling woozy, you soon begin to realise that you must call the hospital within the next five minutes or you will die from bloodloss and possibly brain damage, not knowing how much was done to you, so you pick up the house phone, but find out that, for some reason, it's not working, and you remember that since you had a cell phone you refused to pay the bills for the phone bill and so your phone company must've cut the phone line off. So where was your cell phone? You wonder around, trying to think, bumping into things, knocking over lamps, breaking dishes, making pictures fall off the wall, and you suddenly remember that you left your cell phone in the car. The car keys You felt around in your pocket for the keys, and you wonder then: where were your car keys? You look around and then pause, at the same time trying to remember where you may or may have not left them. You then remember that they had fallen behind the couch and you were too lazy to get them and so you just decided to forget it. But now, you needed them, and you weren't in the best health. You look at the time and see that two minutes have already passed, so you rush over to your couch; well, slowly rush over to your couch, and you try and push it out of the way so you can get your car keys, which are laying on the floor underneath you, but you are too weak to push the couch over so you can reach the keys, so what you do is, you get a macheti from the kitchen and tear the couch up to pieces, being able to now reach the keys, but you notice that now, three minutes have passed, and you must hurry, so you grab your keys and rush out the door, but then you find that the door is locked, and you have about forty keys on that key ring, and you don't remember which one is the car and which is the house. Getting to your car So you fiddle around in the dark for about 25 seconds before turning the light on to the room, next to you, and you can see better and finally pick the right key, rushing out the door and to the car. You have the same problem opening the car door, though, and you grow impatient from not being able to immedietly find the right key, so you can't find the one, and you start to cry like a big baby and at the perfect time your two most hated enemies from high school drive by and laugh at you for crying and being frustated. Then, checking the time again on your watch, you realise you only have about half a minute left, and so you get real mad and punch the window to your car door out to reach in for the cell phone. Calling the hospital Once you reach into the door, you find out that the cell phone is laying in the passenger's seat, on the other side of the car, and it takes you about five seconds to realise that you didn't have to reach, that instead you could simply open the door to your car and reach it. Once you reach them, you realise you only have twenty-two seconds left and so you dial the number on your cell phone (9-1-1) to the hospital but realise then that you don't have any signal. You race out to the porch where you know you get signal, and wait about two seconds (having sixteen seconds left) and call the hospital, to find them answering right away. The phone conversation Hospital dude: "Hello?" You: "Uh, hi. I'd like an ambulance here within the next....eleven seconds." Hospital dude: "No, that's impossible." You: "Then when can you get here?" ... You: "Hello? I only have eight seconds now." Hospital dude: "Oh. Where do you live." You: "Uh....oh yeah. 456 Cedar Drive F*** You Road Street Avenue." Hospital dude: "What? Did you just cuss me out?" You: "What? No. Just send an ambulance." Hospital dude: "Alright, whatever. Yeah sure, why not. Why do I gotta do everything." The hospital dude hangs up and you realise that you have two seconds before you die. Suddenly, however, the ambulance shows up and hauls you into the back of the ambulance vehicle, and you are doing okay for a while. Going to the hospital In the ambulance You are resting, almost asleep, on the way to the hospital when suddenly, the ambulance vehicle hits a rock and does thirteen flips and lands onto a building, only to fall off and start flying into another building for absolutely no reason, and here you are, trying to live, with these enthusiastic ambulance vehicle drivers doing stunts with their stunt-ambulance-car. Finally, however, when you know you are almost to the hospital, you hear a gunshot, and you realise from the screams that the ambulance drivers are dead and someone else was driving the ambulance, and you would know because you are going the wrong way. You realise that the ambulance drivers had treated you well enough to move around, so you sneak up to behind the driver's seat and look over it slowly to see who it is, only to realise that it's a masked criminal. Then, you start fighting him after he notices you are there and says "Hey, who the frig are you?" and eventually you overpower him by stealing the gun he had in his pocket, and so you start driving the ambulance to the hospital, and you find that the hospital is further away than you thought and so you are getting lost by driving it, but you eventually find your way back, so you're on the right track. But then, a car starts speeding up behind you and then a big, muscular black man emerges from the sunroof of the car and starts shooting with an AK-47 at you, you swirving back and forth, trying to dodge the incoming bullets from it as fast as you can. And then you hit a car and it redirects you to the other side of the road, and so there is traffic going around you like crazy and you find that the ambulance vehicle is out of fuel and it won't start, and you're parked in the middle of the highway on the wrong side of the road with criminals speeding up, getting nearer to you every second, shooting bullets out of their guns like crazy, you wondering why they are doing this. On foot Then, you sneak out of the far end side of the ambulance vehicle you're in and you quickly cross the road, the two cars that were following you gaining speed, pursuing you which more effort now. You find out, however, that the hospital is simply down the street, as you can see it with your own eyes, and you run as fast as you can to get there, even though you are making a blood trail, getting woozier every second, and the cars are following you like crazy, you wondering where the police are at during a time like this, and then you see them at Starbucks, watching you run away from the criminals who are attacking you. You are getting closer every second, but your health is declining every second, too, so you run faster, but you realise that you hadn't run this fast for this long in seventeen years and you're really tired from it, trying to catch your breath every few seconds or so, and then you see it, right there, right in front of you: the hospital. At the hospital Getting to where you need to be You go into the entrance of it and walk into the waiting room, and you find out that you need the ER (emergency room) and so you ask one of the patients, "Hey, where's the ER?" and she goes "down the hall to the left" and so you run as fast as you can down there, dodging doctors, patients and nurses who are all asking what you're doing. Finally, you see it: the room. the Emergency Room. You scream out in to the silence of the people who are there, "Hey! I'm tired, I'm bleeding, and I'm gonna die if you don't...." and then you blackout from blood loss. In the operating room You wake up to five or six doctors standing around you and you ask them, "so am i gonna be alright?" and then one of the ugliest ones go "nah, actually, im sorry to say this, but you wont live another 2 weeks or so." and then after a pause all the doctors laugh and then the same doctor goes "nah, im jk. just a few cuts, and your little bump on the head which made you bleed a lot. thats all, you'll be out in no time." So you got out about five months later, because that hospital, you unknowningly found out, had a reputation for keeping its patients in there for longer periods of time in order to raise the hospital bill. Finding out what that thing is Okay, you're home now, and from all that trouble and mahem, you finally bring up the courage to see what that object underneath the dining room table was, and you find that you remembered that your pair of glasses were actually not at your friend's house, they were instead in the droor that you didn't check. You are mad, but it doesn't matter. You see what the object is, and then, before you know it, it explodes in your face and blows up the whole city. It was an atomic bomb. See also *Fire *Bomb *Hospital *Car *Gun